No Idea

Well, that was fast. I probably should have waited until I received some feedback from our instructors before believing I was doing well because it turns out I am doing very, very poorly.

I thought I finished our check-point assessment (progress report, w/e) but it turns out I didn’t. This is due partly to not reading as carefully as I should have but I also thought a something meant one thing when it totally doesn’t. Which explains why one part didn’t make sense to me. I of course did not ask for help (which I totally could have) but left it as is, figuring it was just finished code while it turns out it was something to delete when I finished…
Then today we’re learning something called Nokogiri and I, being all cocky after the assessment, just asked Jerry to send me a file of him using it for me to look at and didn’t even attempt to play with Nokogiri as I was told to do. And then I go solo when the teachers suggest we pair and it turns out I completely misunderstood everything.
I not only misunderstood why someone would use Nokogiri (there were far more applications than I originally thought) but I also misunderstood the instructions for today’s challenge when it seems everyone else did fine. I’m going around thinking I need to get an overview of a webpage one way and it turns out there is so much more to it and I need to write most of it myself and I still don’t know how I would have gotten that from the instructions but obviously everyone else did because they’ve all finished!

I am just so fucked. I can’t even focus on the assignment anymore I’m so down. All I can think about is how fucked I would be today if a few people hadn’t told me what to do when they probably shouldn’t have.

So I now have an ‘Inner Critic’ again (it was a psych lesson they did here), I’m anxious about my abilities, reading comprehension, understanding in general.
I just feel so sick right now.
I just needed to get that out. Maybe now that I have I can focus again and actually get something done.

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